i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize