He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
