Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
