Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
