Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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