areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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