She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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