At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
should my penis look like a turkey
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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