Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize
