I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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