he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
