There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Your penis caused this!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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