Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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