HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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