I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
