I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
