Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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