..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
