Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Randomize
