Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
