So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
This is the high leading the old right now
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize