I love black thongs
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
