Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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