If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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