youre lurking in front of me
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
