she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I think I sprained my soul last night
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
