this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
