Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
