how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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