I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
