took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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