what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
