i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
