those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize