i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
