apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
