So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
