i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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