so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
