I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
