if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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