no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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