Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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