we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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