yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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