I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
