well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
His nipple licking is glorious
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