Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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