So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
