he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
