She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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