the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
