Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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