There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
