SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I touched a dick in church today
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
