she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
