We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
