Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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