4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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