does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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