How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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